Have you ever wanted to do something but missed out because you didn’t want to do it alone?

How about the time you waited for your friend before walking into that social gathering last month?

There are tiny things that we have all done at least once, however, these tiny things add up to being completely dependent on other people.

Self-expression is the second composite scale that contributes to emotional intelligence. This composite scale is about how we show and express ourselves to others.

These competencies make up the self-expression area of the model:

• Emotional expression
• Assertiveness
• Independence

In my last blog, Are You Assertive, we examined our assertiveness. Now, let’s discuss the third competency in the self-expression area, Independence. Independence is the ability to think for yourself and be free of emotional dependency.

Having the ability to NOT depend on someone is a great feeling, which leaves you feeling more confident in your daily life.

Now you might be thinking, how do I become more independent?

1) Discover YOU

This may sound silly, but do you know who you are? It is so common for people to focus on others and not themselves, leaving them with a lack of identity.

2) Take Action

Once you are focused on what you personally need, it’s time to make an action plan. Stay organized and figure out the steps you need to take to accomplish your goals.

3) Don’t Be Afraid of Failure

A huge reason why people are dependent on others is that they don’t want to fail. However, a huge part of life is learning from your failures so you can succeed in the future. So don’t be afraid to take risks.

If this post has you curious and you’d like to learn more, watch my video on leading with emotional intelligence (training program available in both face-to-face and online delivery formats): Leading with Emotional Intelligence.

Join me next time as I begin to break down the emotional intelligence area of Interpersonal, and explore the first competency in this area, interpersonal relationships. Until then, to find yourself, think for yourself.

Learn more about emotional intelligence in my previous blogs:

• A Leader’s New Best Friend
• What’s Your Score?
• What Really Matters
• Once You Know Better, You Do Better
• Can You Express Your Feelings?
• Are You Assertive?